Heartbeats
by Revolverhades12
Summary: Zero knew something wrong with him. He's not...in love with the guy that Yuki adored, right? He can't take him away from Yuki. Not even if she died. It's too wrong... KaZe. M. AU. Caution for OOC-ness.


_It's been awhile since i published any story orz. And I actually wrote this story for quite a while. Procrastination yes. _

**A/N: You'll have Zero's view throughout the story. And yes, I killed Yuki on my birthday (Y). Sorry if it doesn't sounds like Zero at all. I'm being stupid for using someone so mysterious as the plot. Aaaaand this story is two shot. **

**Disclaimer: I swear I wanted to own them, but no I can't. **

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_Heartbeats_

_by Revolverhades12_

Our heartbeats were never synchronized.

Different paces.

Different rhythm.

Different reasons.

They were never the same, not on the slightest hint.

But, we did have one thing in common.

The girl that changed our life.

Yuki Cross.

Of course, she was the closest person Kaname Kuran would have by his side. Ironically, so did I. Because of her, we despised each other so we could win the girl over. We wouldn't even tolerate any contacts between us. It's really a pain seeing him with her, and the way she worshipped him like some kind of God. Not that I wanted to be treated the same way. Treat me like a normal guy, but not out of sympathy was what I asked for. She complied to that, yes, but it lacked something.

It's love, isn't it?

Sometimes I could only smirk at my own petty desire. It was too much to force on Yuki, apparently. She seemed to have so much fun with Kuran. Many times, before I knew, I had to spend times with Yuki, along with Kuran forcefully. As usual, only dagger stares and mockeries accompanied both of us.

Not until I realizes something.

The way Kuran looked softly and passionately at Yuki raised some weird ache in my heart. It's not because the one he looked was Yuki, it was because the one he looked was not _me_.

Oh God. I've lost my insanity.

It was hard to admit it, but it's the truth which I couldn't run away from. The more time I spent with both of them, the more I would develop this odd feeling. I couldn't help but wished for that avid gaze of Kuran. How he cherished Yuki, how he spoke to her happily and how he held her dearly like his own life left a very heavy yearning dumped on me. This impossible thought kept playing at the back of my head like a broken record. Repetitive… and _painfully_ agitating…

But that day, the blackest day of April in any year approached unexpectedly.

Yuki Cross died.

We were sitting in a small café when Yuki decided to buy a bouquet of red roses for Kuran's birthday at the flower shop across the street. I nodded sluggishly at her and she skipped happily to the shop. Kaname Kuran would be joyous to receive the bouquet from Yuki. He always had. Anything from Yuki would make his life in spring the whole year. Jealousy sneakily crept into the mood. Well, I wouldn't-

My mental conversation was interrupted by a shrill screech behind me. I looked over my shoulder only to found throngs of people began to fill the road.

"Poor girl!"

"Who's she?"

"How did it happen?"

Whispers soon occupied the air and I felt my heart leaped violently from its cage. No, it couldn't be…

I could feel my body system had halted abruptly at the view in front of me. Yuki was lying on the hard road, drenched in the thick red blood that began to pool around her. The roses she just bought scattered, adding more red to the scene.

It's the first time red couldn't be uglier than this.

I practically jumped to her side and yelled her name helplessly. I stared at the pale and blood-stained face in my arms. It felt like the whole world had turned into black and white, and I can only listen to my own breath despite of the noise from every direction. A few minutes later, ambulance sirens came booming, thus shattering the silent world that enclosing. I watched the paramedics carried her into the van and one of them nudge me to come along.

Oh, there's one thing about it.

I rubbed my temple in dismay.

How do I tell Kuran about this?

* * *

He's been staring at the glass of vodka in front of him for an hour. The _numerous__ shot of vodka_ he had that night. I watched him at the corner of my eyes at the other side of the counter. I really don't know what he's feeling right now. The brunette didn't cry nor did he say anything on Yuki's death. I was pretty sure he's going to wail the whole month, but to my surprise, he didn't. He's just…too shocked to that extent, or so I thought. But I do know that right now, we're in the sorriest state than we could ever be.

Or so I thought.

Secretly, the jealousy still overwhelming in my chest, even though Yuki's dead. This was pathetic for a guy who admit he always care for Yuki, yes. Kuran was even further in reach. He would only think of he's to blame for her death, and continuously lived like a walking dead. There's no room for me to interfere.

I was such a sick person, and I felt corrupted already with all of these thinking on the night of the death.

Next thing before I realized, I was already on my feet, with such a jealousy running through my veins hotly. I grabbed Kuran's black shirt sleeve a bit too harsh and dragged him to my car. Surreptitiously, I stole a look at him while driving, which to my dismay, he's still the same lifeless figure back at the bar. No yell, no shock, what's more for happiness; sparked at that face. I gritted my teeth in frustration as anger slowly engulfing my emotions.

When we arrived at my place, I pushed him on the bed while throwing my jackets aside. In straddling position, I cupped his chin and breathed slowly at him, "I'll comfort you. Take me as you like." He didn't bother to nod or shake his head. While unbuttoning his shirt, I trailed on his long neck with my lips, down to that firm chest. My free hand unbuckled his pants and pulled it down quickly. With his state, there's no time for teasing and being romantic. Swiftly, I moved my mouth to his manhood and swallowed it in a go. I didn't know how it worked for both guys situation, but I think it's all the same for sex. The member began to harden and soon, I heard Kuran, no Kaname's breath had hitched a bit. Damn, my body felt hot too. I could feel my own sensitive part harden quite a while ago and it's wet already down there.

I quicken my pace as I heard Kaname heaved difficult breathing. Shit, I was about to come! Suddenly, the wine-eyed elder yanked my hair and swapped place with me. Both of my hands were captured by his strong one. I was taken aback by his action and gaped at him. Expression started to flicker on his face. Before I could analyze further, he thrust into me mercilessly. My half-lidded eyes from before fluttered open alertly at the abrupt pain.

"Fuck!" I cursed silently. I should have known. Like I said, there's no romantic feeling about this sex. It's just a raw emotion of loneliness and sadness translated through a course of action.

This was my punishment for everything I've started.

Without waiting for the pain to subdue, Kaname moved in and out rapidly. I clenched my teeth altogether in attempt to lessen the pain but stopped as I felt small water dropped on my cheek. Turning my head to his way, I found him only to faintly sob.

No, no, no….

Don't show me that look.

Even though I did say I'll comfort him, his flowing feeling shattered me to pieces. It's like he was chocking my neck tightly and asked for my death. Quickly, I shut my eyes tightly to block Kaname's heart-breaking appearance. It's too much for me to bear this guilt and false pretense More tears rained me as he moved uncontrollably. I myself wanted to cry.

Why it can't be me?

* * *

I woke up on the next morning, hoping to make a new start with the older guy. I was nervous and tried to conjure a good conversation in my head. But the morning was just as cold as yesterday or the day before. I could only feel my own weight on the bed. There was no heat coming from my behind. It's just a bare coldness biting my body, my soul.

I think I might put too much hopes for this relationship.

Rustling noise came from the bed foot. Kaname was putting his attire back, I know. I could get up and asked him 'why', but pride held back me stubbornly. So I stayed on the bed, pretending to be still asleep. Suddenly, the room fell into deep silence. I was almost turned my body to seek him before a voice rang, cracking the numb silence.

"I'm sorry, Zero."

….was what started the conversation in that morning. I had this huge urge to get up and looked into those melancholic eyes. I gulped and shook slightly as I realized he had already made his way to the door and left.

Damn it…

Damn!

What's with the apology?! I could have felt better if he left without a word. My head felt heavy and my eyes starting to sting. The familiar throbbing sensation quickly filled my chest. I turned my body, facing the ceiling blankly. Small trickle of colorless liquid trailed down to the side of my face down to wet the ear and hair. I felt helpless, weak and heartbroken.

Maybe things should stay as what it should from the beginning…

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_Thanks for reading! See you at chapter 2! And please go easy on me for the review /w\_


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